Business As Usual

It's a Saturday. The phone rings.

Hailey: "Mom, can I store my couch at your house?
There's no room at my new place."

Mom: "No. We don't have room for it at our house.
Are you sure it won't fit at Mike's?"

Hailey: "I guess we can try."

One hour later...

Hailey: "It didn't fit. We donated it to D.I. "
(Desert Industries... Like Goodwill)

Tracy (to Me): "Hailey took the couch to D.I."

Me: "What?!?!? We paid over $200 for that couch less than a year ago. Are we gonna have to go buy another one when she moves somewhere else? We could have stored it here.

Tracy (on the phone to D.I.): "Hi, my daughter accidentally dropped off the wrong couch just a few minutes ago. Can my husband come by and pick it up?"

Guy at D.I.: "Uh, I think it sold. Hang on..."
Guy at D.I.: "Yeah, we have it still but I had to go take it back from someone who just bought it."

Tracy: "Okay. My husband will come right away to pick it up."
Tracy (to Me): "Okay, they still have it. Will you go pick it up?"

Me: "Sigh...

Ten minutes later....

Me (talking to Guy at D.I.): "I'm here to pick up that couch that was accidentally dropped off.

Guy at D.I.: "Okay, let me go get my supervisor."

D.I. Supervisor: "Is this your couch?"

Me: "Yes."

D.I. Supervisor: "You know, we pretty much had to go take this back from the family that bought it. Actually, they had already paid. I had to give them their money back."

Me: "I understand. I'm really sorry. We're mentally unstable."

I load the couch back into the car and take it home. I lug the first piece around back and squeeze it through the door. While it barely fits through the back door, it doesn't even come close to fitting through the hall. The spare bedroom at the end of that deficient, dog-leg hallway is the only place it will possibly fit in our smaller-than-advertised house.

Me: "$#&%!"

Evan (on the couch, oblivious to my struggle): "....."

I load it back into the car, go inside and start watching TV. There's no way I'm going back there right now. The same people are definitely still working. The next day, Tracy and I leave for Las Vegas with my parents. The car and couch stay put.

Four days later... We're back in town.

Tracy: "You really need to do something with that couch. I need to go grocery shopping soon and there's no room in the back."

Me: "Sigh."
Me: "Maybe I'll take it to work."
Tracy: "That's a good idea."
Me: "Or it could sell it on KSL. At least we'd make some money back."
Tracy: "That's a good idea."
Me: Meh... I'll just take it back to D.I."
Tracy: "Sigh"

Two days later... It's Saturday again.

Tracy: "You really need to do something with that couch.
Me: "Uhhhhh!"..."Okay, I'll just take it back to D.I."

Ten minutes later... Driving to D.I...

Me (to myself): "This is ridiculous. Giving away a perfectly good couch. We'll just have to buy another one later."

30 Seconds later... Now driving toward my office.

10 minutes later, at my office, carrying the second piece down the stairs.

Nearby construction worker: "Hey, do you need a hand with that?"
Me: "No, I think I've got it. It's not that heavy, just kind of bulky."

15 Seconds later... I think I've gone down all the steps. I haven't. I roll my ankle and nearly shatter both kneecaps. Thank goodness they went with the cork flooring.

Me: &%#@!

The End...Or is it?
(I still have the couch)