Heartburn

This is a picture of the bacon we had in our BLTs for Evan's birthday dinner. Mike, Hailey's boyfriend, ate three (we ran out of bacon). This post doesn't have anything to do with bacon.

Evan returns sometime today from a week long scout canoe trip. He and about 15 kids and leaders drove north to the Yellowstone area... Jackson Lake, Island Park, bays, islands... You get the idea.

He didn't really want to go. Actually, it was more complicated than that. He was dead set against going, then he seemed okay about it, then he was very reluctant, later somewhat excited, followed up by denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance and maybe even... enjoyment? It's important to note that we never actually see the enjoyment stage, we're kind of assuming it might happen. But he always waits till we're out of sight to show it. He also tucks it into his pack right before he gets home, depriving us of the parental satisfaction we understandably crave.

He wasn't the only one with mixed emotions about the whole affair. Tracy and I agonized before and after we sent him on his way. It's maybe not what you think: We weren't afraid of the canoeing (life jackets) or bears (he can run faster than at least some kids) or even pervy scout masters (I'd trust these guys with my life). He's just become a little distanced from the scout program and subsequently the people and things that go with it. It's possible that's entirely our fault, but I'd like to hope otherwise. Nevertheless, his attendance on the trip was not a foregone conclusion. A couple of primary reasons: 1) Tracy and I aren't really campers... and so we're reluctant to insist our kids do something for a week we usually won't do for a night. 2) He had been teased by some of the kids on previous trips and was dreading more of the same. We could get past the first reason, the second wasn't so easy.

Not sure about other parents, be we've always received a lot of joy from seeing our kids spend time with other kids in a way that makes them happy and keeps them busy. Not sure why... maybe we take it as a sign that they will eventually, in spite of our parental prowess, adjust okay to others and the outside world. It's like that when we visit family in Pocatello. We pull up, unload the car and they just disappear with their cousins. Riding horses, throwing knives, chasing chickens, texting boys. We see them at meal time but not much more... they seem completely content, completely independent of us. No, it's not just us being lazy parents... I think that's how it's supposed to work. It's never quite clicked that way for Ev with scouting. He has friends, but no close friends. And those closest to being close friends are fickle and and often interested in winning the favor of the older/others.. sometimes at Evan's expense.

We felt good about our reasons to have him go... get him out of the house and into the light, provide more exposure to the splendor of the American west (Tracy's idea...weird, right?), reconnect with scouting and the kids from church, make memories, eat hamburgers and have new stories to tell. And yet we were worried that we were setting him up for a rough week... surrounded by kids his own age, but possibly feeling isolated or worse. Might he overstate the problem, to avoid a lengthy camp out? Maybe. But it still felt a tiny bit like we were throwing him to the lions. Potential exaggeration aside, no parent ever wants a hand in that.

How did it all turn out? We'll find out soon enough. We did get a text from one of the leaders a couple of days ago (Thanks Ben) that said he seemed happy and was doing well. I think it probably, hopefully turned out fine... maybe even great. Will he admit that, knowing it will validate our decision and motivate us to send him back next time? Probably not.

Stay tuned.

Bear Lake 2009

We grabbed an opportunity to camp for a few days at Bear Lake again this year. Not the full Schoenfeld crew like last year (last minute planning) but still a welcome break.

Just a few highlights:

We had our tent (on the right) up for less than 15 minutes when a freak gust of wind blew it completely upside down, reassuring me once again that our luck is completely portable.

We also discovered, shortly after arrival, that our immediate campsite neighbors included a family with five small kids and a great dane and a dozen sorority girls from Utah State. The experience was neither as annoying nor as hot as it sounds.







We spent the better part of the time at or on the lake itself. Renting a ski boat one day and just chilling on the beach the next. I took a reasonable number of photos of the water itself, but none of them do justice. The particular blue-green color of Bear Lake is remarkable and reminds me of the Caribbean.

On Wednesday, the girls met some boys from the wave runner rental shop... and eventually... cleverly... invited them back to the campsite for a bonfire. I know it's perfectly normal and was probably the highlight of the trip for them, but still strikes a primal, grouchy nerve in me. I faked maturity, however, and appeared to be a completely reasonable father.








Q: Why attempt to eat a mediocre 28 inch, $55 pizza named Old Ephraim?
A: Because you can have a polaroid taken to prove you did.

Q: Why not attempt to eat Old Ephraim?
A: Common sense (not pictured).




This is a photo series that tells a miniature story.

1) Evan and River are out in the lake past this marsh and well beyond earshot.
Tracy goes out to get them for dinner (her idea, not mine).

2) The wind is louder and the marsh deeper than expected.
She has to go all the way out to be heard.

3) Tracy returns and tells me all about her adventure. The end.


In spite of a few minor setbacks (marauding skunks, incessant wind) I think a good time was had by all. Bear Lake may be becoming that thing we do every year as a family. We need more of those...

I took way more photos than you'd care to see here, but may put a gallery up on Flickr soon. Stay tuned.

Camp

As you may have read in an earlier post, Evan recently attended a scout leadership training camp in the Uintas. It was a week long deal... I picked him up last Saturday.

To be honest, the whole thing was a little odd. I'm on my way back from a few hours at the office on a Sunday afternoon when Tracy calls me with the news. Apparently, one of the scouts designated to attend had been diagnosed with swine flu. Somewhat logically, they called Evan (he is a technically a scout) as a potential replacement. Illogically (he prefers the indoors), he agreed.

Did he know what he was getting into? Did we? No on both accounts. As a kid, your judgment is sketchy at best. And as parents, especially during the summer, you jump on opportunities to keep your people busy.

By the next morning at six he was off.
He was a little apprehensive. We felt guilty.

A week at scout leadership camp...
Knowing barely a soul...
Learning the patrol method... (whatever that is.)

If you're asking how this ends... If you're wondering if we were all worried for nothing... you aren't stopping by often enough.

Exhibit A: The weather


Exhibit B: The weirdos.

Exhibit C: The nervous smile that says "I think they're still watching Dad. Please take the photo quickly and let's get in the car."

Was it all bad? Probably not. As I drove him home, he slept in the back, hard earned patches clutched in hand. Has he asked to see the sign-up forms for next year? Not yet.