Heartburn

This is a picture of the bacon we had in our BLTs for Evan's birthday dinner. Mike, Hailey's boyfriend, ate three (we ran out of bacon). This post doesn't have anything to do with bacon.

Evan returns sometime today from a week long scout canoe trip. He and about 15 kids and leaders drove north to the Yellowstone area... Jackson Lake, Island Park, bays, islands... You get the idea.

He didn't really want to go. Actually, it was more complicated than that. He was dead set against going, then he seemed okay about it, then he was very reluctant, later somewhat excited, followed up by denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance and maybe even... enjoyment? It's important to note that we never actually see the enjoyment stage, we're kind of assuming it might happen. But he always waits till we're out of sight to show it. He also tucks it into his pack right before he gets home, depriving us of the parental satisfaction we understandably crave.

He wasn't the only one with mixed emotions about the whole affair. Tracy and I agonized before and after we sent him on his way. It's maybe not what you think: We weren't afraid of the canoeing (life jackets) or bears (he can run faster than at least some kids) or even pervy scout masters (I'd trust these guys with my life). He's just become a little distanced from the scout program and subsequently the people and things that go with it. It's possible that's entirely our fault, but I'd like to hope otherwise. Nevertheless, his attendance on the trip was not a foregone conclusion. A couple of primary reasons: 1) Tracy and I aren't really campers... and so we're reluctant to insist our kids do something for a week we usually won't do for a night. 2) He had been teased by some of the kids on previous trips and was dreading more of the same. We could get past the first reason, the second wasn't so easy.

Not sure about other parents, be we've always received a lot of joy from seeing our kids spend time with other kids in a way that makes them happy and keeps them busy. Not sure why... maybe we take it as a sign that they will eventually, in spite of our parental prowess, adjust okay to others and the outside world. It's like that when we visit family in Pocatello. We pull up, unload the car and they just disappear with their cousins. Riding horses, throwing knives, chasing chickens, texting boys. We see them at meal time but not much more... they seem completely content, completely independent of us. No, it's not just us being lazy parents... I think that's how it's supposed to work. It's never quite clicked that way for Ev with scouting. He has friends, but no close friends. And those closest to being close friends are fickle and and often interested in winning the favor of the older/others.. sometimes at Evan's expense.

We felt good about our reasons to have him go... get him out of the house and into the light, provide more exposure to the splendor of the American west (Tracy's idea...weird, right?), reconnect with scouting and the kids from church, make memories, eat hamburgers and have new stories to tell. And yet we were worried that we were setting him up for a rough week... surrounded by kids his own age, but possibly feeling isolated or worse. Might he overstate the problem, to avoid a lengthy camp out? Maybe. But it still felt a tiny bit like we were throwing him to the lions. Potential exaggeration aside, no parent ever wants a hand in that.

How did it all turn out? We'll find out soon enough. We did get a text from one of the leaders a couple of days ago (Thanks Ben) that said he seemed happy and was doing well. I think it probably, hopefully turned out fine... maybe even great. Will he admit that, knowing it will validate our decision and motivate us to send him back next time? Probably not.

Stay tuned.

Loving Life

A photo of Tracy and Ev just after he passed off the requirements for Life Scout... one step below Eagle. As you can tell, he's beaming with excitement. (a stark contrast from his genuine enthusiasm as a 12 year old... What a world of difference testosterone and two years makes) That said, I get it, I really do. As a kid, much younger than he is now, I shrugged off a friend's invitation to join Cub Scouts.. Even then I knew I didn't want to become a Weeblo... whatever that is.

And yet.... we hope he hangs with it just a little longer. The Troop he's in is pretty engaged in the business of camping, merit badges and other miscellaneous whatnot. Thank you Dan, Ben and Co.. And while sleeping in a snow cave closely matches my idea of torture, Scouting does seem to give the boys interesting things to experience and something to work towards... a blessing in the time of texting and Call of Duty. On the horizon... A week long canoe trip in August and hopefully an Eagle project. Stay tuned.

Two other items of note. See how much taller Evan is than Tracy? That's a recent development. Also, a special thanks to Mom for getting his merit badge patches affixed to his sash... looking so legit.

Scout Math

This is me. (I'm conflicted)

A few weeks back, we marched our scout troop into the Uintahs. Destination: Ibantik Lake. Objective: The Fishing Merit Badge. For those unfamiliar with the area, the Uintahs are mountains, but the place is really all about the lakes. There are at least 43,000 of them. Some large, some just glorified ponds.

Inevitably, we got a late start leaving town, getting us off the trail and into camp well after dark. It was a fairly arduous hike... at least by "city" standards... some four miles each way, punctuated by a fairly steep climb over "The Notch". The youngest scouts didn't complain too much. The older ones did. "I'm never coming on another one of these" one would say. "Why can't we stop at this perfectly good lake?" another would logically offer. "This sucks" said Evan. While I harbored some of the same sentiments, I'm a leader and an adult... So I had to put on a better face.

A nearly full moon allowed us to sent up camp sans flashlight.... in what appeared to be a sandy spot right on the shore. Next came the campfire and foil dinners, always the highpoint. After inhaling sufficient smoke and molten cheddar, we turned in. (several hours too early). A piece of advice: When camping, resist the temptation to go to be before midnight. What seemed like exhaustion and soft sand turned out to be neither. I slept like crap. Turns out I like to sleep on my side. Apparently the folks who make Thermarest Pads have never met someone like me. I should send them an email. The only unexpected solace was the constantly looping "Stand by Me" coming from somewhere inside Evan's sleeping bag.

We rose early to a crystalline sunrise and the promise of fly fishing on a remote mountain lake. Early fall when the bugs have gone? On a lake everyone else is too lazy to hike in to? Paydirt. Unsurprisingly, the trout-stravaganza we'd hope to hit never quite materialized, leaving my string of fishing trips without fish completely in tact. To be fair, a few small fish were taken by others less eternally damned than ourselves.

11am: Back on the trail.
2pm: Gone Burgers at Hi-Mountain Drug in Kamas.
4pm: Throwing our backpacks on the living room floor.

It wasn't a bad time, the Uintahs are fairly breathtaking and I feel like we earned what we took. But in spite of all we told the kids, I'm not sure the ROI really works. Three hours driving + six hours hiking + zero hours sleeping = approximately zero fish. But his isn't a conversation we adults can have. Can we?


Not Ibantik

Ibantik

Evan at the top of The Notch

Camp

As you may have read in an earlier post, Evan recently attended a scout leadership training camp in the Uintas. It was a week long deal... I picked him up last Saturday.

To be honest, the whole thing was a little odd. I'm on my way back from a few hours at the office on a Sunday afternoon when Tracy calls me with the news. Apparently, one of the scouts designated to attend had been diagnosed with swine flu. Somewhat logically, they called Evan (he is a technically a scout) as a potential replacement. Illogically (he prefers the indoors), he agreed.

Did he know what he was getting into? Did we? No on both accounts. As a kid, your judgment is sketchy at best. And as parents, especially during the summer, you jump on opportunities to keep your people busy.

By the next morning at six he was off.
He was a little apprehensive. We felt guilty.

A week at scout leadership camp...
Knowing barely a soul...
Learning the patrol method... (whatever that is.)

If you're asking how this ends... If you're wondering if we were all worried for nothing... you aren't stopping by often enough.

Exhibit A: The weather


Exhibit B: The weirdos.

Exhibit C: The nervous smile that says "I think they're still watching Dad. Please take the photo quickly and let's get in the car."

Was it all bad? Probably not. As I drove him home, he slept in the back, hard earned patches clutched in hand. Has he asked to see the sign-up forms for next year? Not yet.