High Rollers

Early last month we went to Las Vegas with my Mom and Dad. Yes, I know... another extra late post. Don't know that Tracy and I are really Vegas people... don't drink... don't smoke... incredibly timid gamblers, but it seemed like a fairly easy place to spend a few days. The draw was mostly being able to spend some time together with Jim and Marge... something we get to do too little of.

We stayed here... Pretty place, expensive restaurants, great pools, located way down at one end of the strip. Don't even get me started on the monorail. Also... At the Mandalay, if you see a "Relaxation in Progress" sign on someone's door, that means they're smoking a pungent kind of weed in their room.

Our travel companions: Great sports about everything... even when they had to walk the 900 yards from the hallway where the Lion King wasn't playing to the the actual theater where it was.


Tracy and I spent some quality time at H&M. No, it isn't a casino. Yes, we lost money. While shopping is like kryptonite to me, the store is visually amazing.... A million things to want to shoot. I eventually discovered photography is not permitted. Meh... I got what I came for.



I didn't actually take that many pictures. You'd think otherwise, but Vegas isn't that photogenic. Inside, the casinos are really all the same. And the other stuff... all imitation... like crab with a K. Although, I could have photographed people all day... it's amusing to see someone stumble through a shopping mall clutching a three foot margarita.



The aquarium at Mandalay wasn't bad... Not exactly Monterrey Bay, but storing live sharks in the basement of a desert casino is still something to be proud of.




All in all, a good time. We enjoyed the show, the swim and getting the stink eye for ordering the cheapest thing on the menu... a ten dollar bowl of soup. Most of all, we enjoyed the time together.

Mother's Day 2011

On the day before Mother's Day, Tracy "invited" the whole family to go to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point. Everyone was actually pretty down with the whole concept... everyone but Evan. Surprisingly, a flower show... or going outdoors, isn't his idea of a good time. After we clarified exactly which Tulips were included in the festival, (Not those three flowerbeds, just behind the Dinosaur Museum) we set about making a day of it.

There was family togetherness in abundance...




Not sure why every group photo with these three ends up in a wrestling match.



There was this. Eden always has some of this on hand...

There were plenty of these...






The best part of the Tulip Festival? Besides that other stuff?
Maybe this... doughnuts and corn dogs.

Fifty dollars to get in + Forty dollars on lunch = One of the best days out together in a long time.

Business As Usual

It's a Saturday. The phone rings.

Hailey: "Mom, can I store my couch at your house?
There's no room at my new place."

Mom: "No. We don't have room for it at our house.
Are you sure it won't fit at Mike's?"

Hailey: "I guess we can try."

One hour later...

Hailey: "It didn't fit. We donated it to D.I. "
(Desert Industries... Like Goodwill)

Tracy (to Me): "Hailey took the couch to D.I."

Me: "What?!?!? We paid over $200 for that couch less than a year ago. Are we gonna have to go buy another one when she moves somewhere else? We could have stored it here.

Tracy (on the phone to D.I.): "Hi, my daughter accidentally dropped off the wrong couch just a few minutes ago. Can my husband come by and pick it up?"

Guy at D.I.: "Uh, I think it sold. Hang on..."
Guy at D.I.: "Yeah, we have it still but I had to go take it back from someone who just bought it."

Tracy: "Okay. My husband will come right away to pick it up."
Tracy (to Me): "Okay, they still have it. Will you go pick it up?"

Me: "Sigh...

Ten minutes later....

Me (talking to Guy at D.I.): "I'm here to pick up that couch that was accidentally dropped off.

Guy at D.I.: "Okay, let me go get my supervisor."

D.I. Supervisor: "Is this your couch?"

Me: "Yes."

D.I. Supervisor: "You know, we pretty much had to go take this back from the family that bought it. Actually, they had already paid. I had to give them their money back."

Me: "I understand. I'm really sorry. We're mentally unstable."

I load the couch back into the car and take it home. I lug the first piece around back and squeeze it through the door. While it barely fits through the back door, it doesn't even come close to fitting through the hall. The spare bedroom at the end of that deficient, dog-leg hallway is the only place it will possibly fit in our smaller-than-advertised house.

Me: "$#&%!"

Evan (on the couch, oblivious to my struggle): "....."

I load it back into the car, go inside and start watching TV. There's no way I'm going back there right now. The same people are definitely still working. The next day, Tracy and I leave for Las Vegas with my parents. The car and couch stay put.

Four days later... We're back in town.

Tracy: "You really need to do something with that couch. I need to go grocery shopping soon and there's no room in the back."

Me: "Sigh."
Me: "Maybe I'll take it to work."
Tracy: "That's a good idea."
Me: "Or it could sell it on KSL. At least we'd make some money back."
Tracy: "That's a good idea."
Me: Meh... I'll just take it back to D.I."
Tracy: "Sigh"

Two days later... It's Saturday again.

Tracy: "You really need to do something with that couch.
Me: "Uhhhhh!"..."Okay, I'll just take it back to D.I."

Ten minutes later... Driving to D.I...

Me (to myself): "This is ridiculous. Giving away a perfectly good couch. We'll just have to buy another one later."

30 Seconds later... Now driving toward my office.

10 minutes later, at my office, carrying the second piece down the stairs.

Nearby construction worker: "Hey, do you need a hand with that?"
Me: "No, I think I've got it. It's not that heavy, just kind of bulky."

15 Seconds later... I think I've gone down all the steps. I haven't. I roll my ankle and nearly shatter both kneecaps. Thank goodness they went with the cork flooring.

Me: &%#@!

The End...Or is it?
(I still have the couch)

Tracking Time

Last week, from an "hours-worked" standpoint, had to be in the top five all-time.

- On Monday, I went to bed at 2am.
- On Tuesday, I went to bed at 5am.
- On Wednesday, I didn't go to bed at all.

My days were full of meetings, my nights were spent trying to make headway on the presentations due the following day, three days in a row. A perfect storm or something...

I'm glad it's over now, and I sometimes really question my career choices. I'm 43 after all... and still pulling all-nighters. Not smart. And yet, in an odd way, it was a slightly satisfying experience. The particular variety of work I was missing sleep for is a kind that I'm good at. Do I want to be? Not sure... but it is what it is. Each project miraculously came together in time for the meeting and the clients were happy. Perhaps more unbelievable... I managed to keep my internal whining to a minimum. See, people can change.

Or can they?

Concurrent with my personal work-a-thon, I also waited for my iPad 2 to finally arrive. While I barely slept, my "magical" gizmo took it's sweet time seeing the world. I tracked every step. It took a six day, three city tour of China.. then Korea... next Alaska and finally... Louisville. Yes Louisville. Apparently they flew the device directly over my head some 1500 miles east where it sat for an extra day. Apparently it had tickets to the Kentucky Derby or something. All in all, my iPad had a much better ten days than I did. Did I cry about it? Sort of.

Late Night Stupid

Utah is weather-tarded around this time of year... pretty much every year. It's almost May and we're still getting snow at least twice a week. Above, a photo from a few nights ago. Coming upstairs from a late night's work... I figured I'd document the spring storm with my still new flash. Standing on the edge of the deck in my pajamas and bare feet, I click off a few largely uninteresting images. The fun began when our cat... a strictly inside cat... ran through my legs, out the back door and and into the darkness. Ugh... I know it's my fault, but really? It's 3am.

Knowing I have to retrieve the family furball, I try to quietly extract my shoes from our closet, all without waking Tracy. Needless worry... she wears earplugs to bed these days. I could have run a band-saw by the bed and she'd be none the wiser.

Still swearing under (and over) my breath, I stepped onto the snow, and then... immediately thought better of the plan. If I go after her, she'll just run under the deck. So I waited. I also called to her in my best "you're-not-in-any-trouble" voice. Then I made that clicking sound with my tongue... similar to the one that sowboys use to make their horses go faster. Unsurprisingly, nothing worked. What did work was the cold. Apparently, cats that are used to laying on the couch, or the shirt you just ironed, don't really like snow. As soon as I backed off and stopped with the shenanigans, she came right in. Do these things only happen to me?

Missing Moments

A few modestly notable items from the recent past...

Eden and Hailey jumping for joy... or because I asked them to. It kind of looks like they're in a Toyota commercial or something. There was no TV spot, but Eden did pick up a bargain on a sweet PT Cruiser from Grandma. Who knew we'd find a 10 year old car with only 8 miles on it.

The tasteful lettering lovingly applied to my car by a couple of co-workers. In spite of the meticulous kerning and graceful arc, I think it went on easier than it came off.

The Mexican meatballs we made once and probably wouldn't make again. We love allrecipes.com but this one was frito blandito. I suspect the author of this "south of the border" treat is actually a 47 year old hockey mom in central Wisconsin. I'd like to think she carefully scans the labels for mild cheddar because the sharp stuff is just too spicy.

Note: Okay... I just looked up the actual recipe and author. Profile page below. I had never actually seen this before... I promise. Now I feel bad for being mean (and omniscient).

This is Evan brushing his teeth before bed in the bathroom while simultaneously programming in C++. He's also been teaching himself Russian.

Evan and I just before our semi-annual ski excursion at the Canyons. As you can see from the photo, he's way outgrown his bibs... and his arms. We really need to ski more, or less. The once a year plan is not the way to go.

Extreme Home Combover

Q: How do you make a 109 year old house look brand new?
A: Not Pictured

This is an in-progress photo of our recently re-roofed house. Okay... Not our favorite way to spend 10k... but at least it's something that's new... and fixed. Next up, paint... And maybe windows. Is vinyl the wrong idea? I worry yes... Our budget disagrees. We'll see. One more bid on Wednesday. Who doesn't enjoy a good high pressure home demo?

A Family of Hair

Eden just finished a three day hair styling competition at school. (her first ever) For a rookie, she did so well... placing fourth out of about 15 students. Hailey graciously offered to be her model. I selfishly offered to take photos. So for the past three nights she's stopped by the house afterward... hair still intact... for an impromptu shoot. Armed with a sliver of knowledge, a willing subject and my new Canon Speedlite 430EX II , we set about faking it. A few of the results below. Are they good? No idea. As it turns out, enthusiasm obscures objectivity like nobody's business. Not sure it matters though... we both loved the process.

Day One -



Day 2



Day 3

Loving Life

A photo of Tracy and Ev just after he passed off the requirements for Life Scout... one step below Eagle. As you can tell, he's beaming with excitement. (a stark contrast from his genuine enthusiasm as a 12 year old... What a world of difference testosterone and two years makes) That said, I get it, I really do. As a kid, much younger than he is now, I shrugged off a friend's invitation to join Cub Scouts.. Even then I knew I didn't want to become a Weeblo... whatever that is.

And yet.... we hope he hangs with it just a little longer. The Troop he's in is pretty engaged in the business of camping, merit badges and other miscellaneous whatnot. Thank you Dan, Ben and Co.. And while sleeping in a snow cave closely matches my idea of torture, Scouting does seem to give the boys interesting things to experience and something to work towards... a blessing in the time of texting and Call of Duty. On the horizon... A week long canoe trip in August and hopefully an Eagle project. Stay tuned.

Two other items of note. See how much taller Evan is than Tracy? That's a recent development. Also, a special thanks to Mom for getting his merit badge patches affixed to his sash... looking so legit.

Passing Through

I'd probably rather photograph people than places, but because I lug my camera around pretty much wherever I go... I just shoot what I can. I don't think any of this is too exceptional... I'm assuming shooting landscapes is analogous to playing the bass guitar. An instructor I had once told me that the bass was an easy instrument to pick up and play, but incredibly difficult to play well. Ladies and Gentlemen... Smoke on the Water.

Just So We're Being Clear

If you're not sure what kind of people you're dealing with here... If you haven't been paying attention. Two very recent stories that should help.

Example 1.
Tracy is pulling out of the underground parking at the Gateway when she feels something in her hair. Panicked and still navigating the tight space in a not-so-nimble SUV, she attempts to shake whatever it is. As she approaches the attendant's booth and rolls down her window, a tiny beetle flies from her hair onto her left wrist. Continuing to multitask her way through the situation, she simultaneously hands the woman her ticket and flicks the offending insect from her person... right into the attendant's eye. If you're asking... "What are the chances of that happening?", I'm telling you... 100 percent. The girl let's out a groan and covers her freshly bugged eye. Profuse apologies and awkwardness ensue. No words are spoken, no forgiveness is offered. The gate lifts and Tracy reluctantly drives away. Somalis don't practice witchcraft do they?

Example 2.
Just yesterday... Evan had minor oral surgery to make way for a tooth that hadn't come in. In the weeks leading to yesterdays operation a decision had to be made on anesthesia.

Option 1: A local anesthetic and laughing gas.
Cost: A decent amount money out of pocket.

Option 2: General anesthesia.
Cost: A lot of money out of pocket.

What kind of parents would offer a cash incentive to their son to choose the less expensive option? This kind.

Sounds horrible right? Relax... everything turned out fine. With the tooth so near the surface, the surgeon recommended the local. The boy pocketed a cool $75, felt fine and had a two milkshake day. The parents saved a couple hundred dollars to spend on something more enjoyable... like drywall... or the fence that's falling down again.

Sigh... We'll try harder tomorrow.

Seriously?

Today I was alerted to the presence of two sets of pictures on the interwebs.

This first one is me, posted on Chad Hurst's Blog. He's a photographer friend of mine working through a self-imposed project called 30 Portraits, 30 Days. Here he successfully shows my hair loss and the plate of ribs I never got to eat. Unsurprisingly, I hate him now. Not really. I sort of knew what I was in for. Although, I am hoping there's a more flattering photo somewhere in the bunch.

And then there are these photos of Tracy from the Lifestyle section of the Salt Lake Tribune. Here her complete cuteness and fashion sense are on display. Bald spot? Nope. Plate of greasy ribs? Not really. Just her being adorable.


And lastly... not online... until now: this photo of her in the dining room. I think she looks amazing, she thinks it just shows her wrinkles. If she even has wrinkles, I can't see them. I'll never see them.

I can only assume from the length of our marriage and the disparity in these photos that she looks past my "wrinkles" too.

Number 19

We celebrated Eden's nineteenth birthday on the first of March. I use the word "celebrated" with some reserve as she was incredibly sick for most of the surrounding week. She had hand, foot and mouth disease as it turns out... No, that's not the thing that livestock get. Eden doesn't have any hooves.

She was a good sport though. And presents apparently have the power to heal. She got the kind of clothing she really likes... you know... the kind she'll step over as she heads downstairs to raid Tracy's closet.

For dinner, we canceled the curry and fed her milkshakes instead. She did have cake though... although none of us would let her blow out the candles. See for yourself.

Also... Evan isn't wearing a burkha... he's wearing his blanket... named Sheldon.