Here we are, on the very brink of Christmas, and I'm still not quite feeling it.
That's how I started this post last night around 7 or so. I couldn't finish. I stopped there and saved the draft, assuming I wasn't going to make anyone's holiday with the rest. Not sure what causes this type of feeling to pervade. No young kids in the house... Work that won't let up until the absolute last minute... Getting to be an official bearer of bad "now you can't make your car payment" economic news.
I'm back here again, because it all turned out okay... thanks to Tracy.
After giving up on the post, I went upstairs to join the others as they prepared to open the customary "one" present on Christmas Eve. Two actually. Somewhere along the line, pajamas were discounted as a present and instated as the uniform you are required to wear while opening your one present. Fair enough.
We cracked open the pajamas. Evan and I now have matching pants, the girls just changed while we turned our backs.
This still didn't do the trick. Hmmm...
Tree decorated and powered up? Check.
Stockings hung with care (hooks actually)? Check.
Pajamas donned? Check?
We just sat on the couch. Collectively not feeling it.
Tracy got up and mumbled something as she went into the bedroom. She emerged seconds later holding a single, folded, white piece of paper containing a collection scriptures and hymns. It was essentially just the program from our Church Christmas party. Knowing we need all the help we can get, we saved it for this very occasion.
We took turns reading the verses. It took just a few minutes, but changed everything. Feeling slightly more ambitious, we tried a few of the songs. Some a capella, some with Eden on guitar. Did it sound good? Probably not. But we were trying and that, I've found, is sometimes enough. We eventually moved from Christmas hymns to other stuff. Mirah, The Beatles, Songs from the Juno soundtrack. Eden appears to have actual, real live talent with an acoustic guitar. Hailey has a lovely voice. And Evan... he can make almost any medieval weapon out of Silly Putty. Simple, unsophisticated... a perfectly Rabdau moment. Tears came to my eyes (but no further) more than once.
Maybe next year we can get there a little earlier. We'll see.
Either way, I am grateful for who and what I have.
Cheers -